Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Halfway Through Our Two Year Chapter
A year ago we left China. We left the bustling streets, those rivers of humanity with heads of black hair bobbing up and down. We left the street vendors, the taxi drivers, the bicycles, the buses. We left our students, our friends, the birthplace of our son, and our home of five years.
So we did. And God has provided, is providing. I'm humbled by my wee little faith, and perhaps this all has grown that faith a bit.
Aaron has completed a year of his program, and we're thrilled at how much this is equipping him for what we're doing. And we feel a bit spoiled to be here in this land of perfect weather, gorgeous beaches, and abundant opportunities for this season. Hopefully knowing that it's just for a time helps us to receive the blessings with thanksgiving rather than taking them for granted.
We've reached the halfway point. In just over a year (August 2013) , we'll be packing up and moving back to China, this time with three little ones in tow. Already, I find myself wondering how each of us will handle this next transition. Some would call us crazy, all this moving across the world stuff, but we know with every fiber of our bones that we are meant for this. Not at all saying it's easy, but knowing it's what we're meant for helps us hold on when it's hard.
They say transition is like a being on a bridge, going from one side to another, suspended above the deep waters. They also say you can be tied to bungee cords as you navigate this bridge, with a cord constantly pulling you back to the past or a cord dragging you into the future.
In many ways it feels like we're in a two year transition. This past year in many ways has been about processing our five years in China. We're realizing how we've changed. Here at the halfway mark, I am already feeling a cord wrap itself around my ankles, ready to mentally drag me into the not yet. This coming year could easily be about the planning and worrying and getting ready for leaving again.
But I recently read a gem of advice: "Cut the bungee cords...and do so by living fully and completely, wherever we are. Not ignoring the past, but not wishing we were there, either. And also not pretending like the here and now is a waiting room for the next gig; that God has us where we are to be fully there, all of us in every way." --Tsh Oxenreider (SimpleMom.net)
So this is me cutting the cords, living fully in the now, letting tomorrow worry about itself while I count the blessings of today:
- Feeling my son's heart thump while watching his very first fireworks light up the sky.
- My daughter making new "best friends" everywhere she goes.
- An evening away with the husband, sitting huddled together on a blanket on the beach, the smell of bonfire in the air, the sky dusky with sunset.
- Swelling large with new life.
- Longing to hold, to know, to kiss this new life.
- Being able to experience and love two very different worlds.