Wednesday, May 22, 2013

In Which I am Medicating with Bowls of Ice Cream

These days are dragging heavy.  The end-of-semester stress weighs wearily on us all.  Big change looms dauntingly just beyond the bend, its to-do list piling ever long.  I find my shoulders sagging.  Negativity tumbles from mouth.

It's one thing and then the next.  All the dailies of mommyhood seem more than I can shoulder.  Why will you not SLEEP when it's nap time?  For the love, will you pleeease pee in the potty now, we've got to get in the car.  And if I hear one more "But, Mom..."  I reach for another bowl of Dreyers Chocolate Mint Cookie.     

My thankful list?  It's been collecting dust.  No time, no time.  Always someone needing, needing.  No time to pen a thought to paper.  I'll just think thankful thoughts, right?  Funny how that works.  How the spiral downward swirls stronger, all my gifts becoming blurs.

Maybe no one needs anything more than for me to stop and give thanks.  To find myself again in him.  

The gifts?  They are all around.  If I'll just bring the blur into focus, I'll see the joy again.

- The look on my husband's face as he melts in the moment, his baby son asleep on his shoulder.

- Ducks pattering by on their morning stroll.  The mama squeaking softly to her fuzzies.  She sounds like a rickety tricycle, the whole lot of them moving as one to the rhythm of her voice.  Mamas set the tone, no?  

- Gasping in wonder at the length of my daughter.  Me?  I'm mommy to babies and toddlers.  Where did this big kid come from?

- My head on my husband's chest, "Your turn to hoist me up, Love." Marriage is for this.

- Anticipating joys to come.  Another semester for the books.  Family wedding.  Cousins reuniting.

- My kiddos twirling, whirling to city street beats.  Them and a pack of unabashed kids.  Breaking bedtimes, wild and free, reminding us all that in life, you just need to dance.