Thursday, February 20, 2014

Wait, Now Who Am I?


So I rolled The Grove's word prompt around in my mind this week.

Purpose…Purpose…

And then I rolled it some more,

Purpose…

And then I felt…tired.

The word has such a “goal oriented” feeling to it, like it’s going to rattle off a bulleted to-do list. Now, Lord knows, I’m a list maker, an achiever of goals (or at least a believer in goals), but I have a hunch that the last thing that either you or I need right now is a to-do list.

I know I’m not preaching to a bunch of slouches here. I think we're a can-do kind of people. And so we do, and do, and do some more. And somewhere along the line my identity and perhaps yours becomes wrapped up, woven as one into what we DO.

Have you ever had a time in your life when what you DO is stripped away from you? You’re suddenly left floundering, asking, “Wait, now who am I?”

Yeah, been there.

There was that time I left everything I ever knew as a barely 18 year-old for the mountains of Ecuador. No longer the student leader.

Or the time I had to let go of teaching and that master’s degree. Gah, the classroom was my place!

And then all the days of sending my husband off to do the big important things, the things we used to do together, as I stay home to scrape dried jelly off the counter.

Yep, there have been tears for all of these. But go back and change it?

No, no I wouldn’t.

It’s been this stripping down and away that’s brought me to my knees, helped me find myself in Him. 



Read the rest over at Velvet Ashes...

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